Falcon (The End)
Sunday, August 27th, 2006
Still looking at the scratches on the chamber, I said, “Don’t worry. It may be an older model, but it’s still tough.”"
“No, Falcon, not that,” Chura said. “I think something just bit me. This really hurts.” She reached to pull up the left leg of her overalls.
We all looked at the ground near her feet. There, slithering through the leaves, barely visible but for its movement, was a copperhead snake.
“Agkistrodon contortrix,” Chethra said.
“No, no. Wait. Don’t move, and don’t do anything threatening,” I said.
“Besides moving, I’m not sure how I would threaten a snake. I only know English and Mandarin.”
The snake, a scaly specimen about two feet long and four inches thick, was covered in shades of brown. As it moved toward Danetta, we remained stock still, but Danetta’s lip quivered when the snake wound its way between her feet. She finally exhaled when it rustled out of range.
“It’s hurting worse. Why would it bite me?” Chura asked.
I shrugged my shoulders. “You must have stepped on it. Stay calm while we tip the chamber upright. Don’t worry. They aren’t usually fatal.”
“Thanks, but I don’t like probabilities,” Chura said.
Shouts came from behind us. “Over here, Sheriff, over here!” Dammit. We had company, and Wayne and Left Deputy were bringing it straight to us.
Danetta leaned against the bottom of the chamber while Chethra and I lifted from the top. Our feet slipped on the leaves at first,but once we reached the soil, we found good footing. Still, it didn’t move. We tried again, adding groaning and other straining noises, but couldn’t get it off the ground.
“Don’t you two ever learn?” the Sheriff asked, still out of sight.
“Sir, if you could have just seen this guy’s gun,” Wayne said.
“Sure, I’ve heard it before. It was bigger than any gun you’ve ever seen.”
“Not just that, but what it did.”
“Save it, boys. Where are the suspects?”
“Just down there, in the woods.”
The time chamber wouldn’t budge. Chura had sat down, obviously weakened by the snake’s poison.
“Come on. We just have to get in it like this,” I said.
“While it’s lying flat?” Danetta asked.
“It will still work. We just need to roll it enough so we can open the door.”
“Hey you! Stop what you’re doin’, now!” the sheriff yelled.
I pulled out the BFG and fired a shot that left him covered in leaves and black dirt. The sheriff stood there, mouth agape, eyes wide open. The smell of old, rotting leaves filled the air.
Chura got up and shuffled through the leaves to the chamber. We all pushed to roll it over.
“There.” I opened the door, and held it up. “You ladies get in first.” As they tried to lie down inside without squashing each other, I kept the BFG trained on the Sheriff.
“We’ll just be going now, Sheriff. Don’t mind us.”
I lowered my gun and quickly dove inside, letting the door slam behind me.
The sound of primitive handgun explosions filled the air, and bullets pinged off the chamber. The sheriff wasted no time once he figured I couldn’t shoot him. I hoped the older machine didn’t have any weak spots. Coming this far only to end up stranded would not do at all.
I lay on Danetta, back to back, while I worked the controls. The others lay on either side of her, also on their stomachs, barely overlapping her with a leg here and an arm there. There was enough space for four people to stand upright, but horizontally it wasn’t very comfortable.
More bullets. The deputies flanked the sheriff and emptied shotguns at us. He obviously had freed them, but their fear of the BFG had kept them hanging back until they knew it was no longer a threat. I imagined that we were inside the soda can atop a fencepost, good ol’ boys blazing away at it in backyard target practice.
“Falcon, hurry, you’re killing me here,” Danetta said.
“I’m working as fast as I can, ladies. Hang in there.”
The sheriff and his boys reloaded and fired more rounds at us. I could barely think with all the noise.
“I feel like I can’t breathe,” Chura said.
Chethra tried to reassure her. “It’s a normal reaction. Don’t worry.”
“Is a ‘normal reaction’ to a snakebite a good thing?” Chura asked.
Everything was set. “Here goes.”
The shooting stopped. Blackness hit us, then blinding light. I saw the old lab again. We were back in our era.
Something felt different. I was more acutely aware of Danetta underneath me. I turned my head, then laughed.
We were all stark naked.
The ladies gasped, in what amounted to a collective, “What the hell?”
Chethra was the first to catch on. “Only what goes back can come back.”
“That’s right, unless it’s been programmed into the chamber before the jump.”
“The sheriff and his deputies are staring dumbfounded at four full sets of clothing,” Chethra said.
I chuckled, but not at what she said. I imagined what their six breasts looked like flattened against the chamber wall. A young woman had once flashed a breast from the passenger’s seat of a skyporter, and pressed it against the window. It was a remarkably un-sexy moment for me, and I imagined this would be about the same, only with many more breasts. Lucky for them and me, however, I was facing the opposite direction.
Just when we all thought we might get time to relax again, we had another hurtle. Lying around nude reveling in our escape wasn’t going to happen.
“Hey, I feel better,” Chura said. “I guess the snake’s poison didn’t make it through, either.”
“Nope, same rule applies,” I said. I didn’t show outwardy how relieved I was that she had made it through okay. I feared that people from eras gone were made of sterner stuff than we, and that she might succumb before we jumped. “Now, how do you ladies suggest we get out of this potentially embarrassing situation?”
They sent me out first, and then asked me to turn on the light as I left the room. I headed out front, almost expecting to see Theo out there, motionless but in rare form. Instead, I stood alone and nude, just like I did any time I visited a competitor’s darkened waiting room after a life-saving mission. I had programmed the chamber to return us outside business hours.
“Psst. Hey, Falcon.” It was Danetta, her head poking through the doorway. “Can you get us some clothes?”
“Well, I’m naked, too. How do you propose I do that?”
“It’s easier for you to cover everything,” she said.
“I’ll take that as an insult, thank you very much.”
“No, that’s not what I meant. Just, try to find some way to get us something to wear. Please.”
Whatever we wore, we had a long walk to either my flat or — wherever it was they were staying.
“I need a little incentive,” I said, figuring that if I couldn’t flirt with her when she was already naked, then it was hopeless.
She pushed open the door to reveal a profile silhouetted by the light from the lab. I barely had enough time to believe my eyes before she stepped back and let the door swing shut. Even in that quick glimpse, I could tell she was a lovely woman.
She peeked back through the door.
“What size does everybody wear?” I asked.
A light sweater hung over the back of the receptionist’s chair. I fashioned it into a wrap around my waist and walked out the front door. It turned out to be a short walk to the nearest Walget, the world’s largest retail chain. Barefoot and naked from the waist up, my pride hidden only by an improvised baby-blue kilt, I got fewer strange looks than I expected.
Looking around, I noticed that the night sky was dotted with skyporter lights. More, it seemed, than I would have expected before I met Danetta.
I quickly grabbed a package of men’s briefs, a pair of synthdenim pants, and a rayon shirt — each its own shade of blue. The dressing room was the first privacy I had enjoyed since the motel bathroom. In fact, that day had been overcrowded with people I had never met before and never would again. Fully clothed again and looking amongst the women’s clothing, I at least drew comfort from the fact that the strangers in the store were from my own time. If they saw me as strange, then it wasn’t because of my skin color or my dialect.
After filling Danetta’s order for her and the other ladies, I picked out some synthleather sandals for all of us. I didn’t skimp here, because I knew we might be doing a lot of walking.
On the way to the checkout scanners, I saw a public display terminal. I searched for National Rivers. There, in all its meandering glory, was the Buffalo National River. Curious about Danetta’s note, I looked up the World Conservation Museum. As I hoped, a live feed showed the room where it was preserved under glass.
The hermetically sealed case was much larger, however, and it featured something entirely new: four pair of bib overalls and four flannel shirts in various colors. They were posed vertically, legs and arms outstretched. Nothing indicated that any names were associated with the clothes or the note. We were the time-traveling strangers who saved the environment, and this time, no jump plan had been filed.
One more question remained. Near the front door, I noticed a young male employee looking my way. If I asked him, I figured he would either look at me like I was a complete boob, or have me speak to a manager. I didn’t care. I had to know. “Could you tell me, where are your impact absorption shield emitters?”
“There are four along the front of the building, sir, and 10 mounted on light poles in the parking area. Walget cares about each customer’s safety.”
My God. What a sickeningly rote response. “How long have you been management, son?”
“Just got promoted last month.”
“Right.” I turned and walked toward the exit.
We did it. We had taken on the 20th century and won.
“They’re tested regularly, to ensure we’re providing maximum coverage,” the young man called after me.
I’d hate to be the one testing them.
I turned and shouted over my shoulder, “Thanks. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’m going to make three naked women very happy.”