Comments on: Bernie (Part Two) http://storyblog.markwill.com/2008/02/10/bernie-part-two/ Writings from the past and the present Mon, 01 Dec 2008 19:09:40 +0000 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.5.1 By: Moksha Gren http://storyblog.markwill.com/2008/02/10/bernie-part-two/#comment-297 Moksha Gren Tue, 12 Feb 2008 19:44:09 +0000 http://storyblog.markwill.com/2008/02/10/bernie-part-two/#comment-297 Liked the subtle mention of that dentist's office ;) And sure, light saber's aren't white...but you don't tend to find colored fluourescent tubes laying around. And you have to play light sabers with the bulbs you do find. So, accuracy must suffer I'm afraid. Liked the subtle mention of that dentist’s office ;)

And sure, light saber’s aren’t white…but you don’t tend to find colored fluourescent tubes laying around. And you have to play light sabers with the bulbs you do find. So, accuracy must suffer I’m afraid.

]]> By: Dave http://storyblog.markwill.com/2008/02/10/bernie-part-two/#comment-294 Dave Tue, 12 Feb 2008 11:58:38 +0000 http://storyblog.markwill.com/2008/02/10/bernie-part-two/#comment-294 Great so far... can't wait to read more! Great so far… can’t wait to read more!

]]> By: Mark http://storyblog.markwill.com/2008/02/10/bernie-part-two/#comment-293 Mark Tue, 12 Feb 2008 02:12:05 +0000 http://storyblog.markwill.com/2008/02/10/bernie-part-two/#comment-293 Simon - Nope, the hearing problem was not revealed in the first chapter. Good call. I hope it made you go back and re-read it -- I know I had to! Actually, the original, one-page Bernie was stone deaf. Not so here, but pretty bad just the same. Of course I care. One Wink - I'm glad you're hanging with it. I'm doing my best to show and not tell. A little telling is in order sometimes, of course, but only in short bursts. Simon - Nope, the hearing problem was not revealed in the first chapter. Good call. I hope it made you go back and re-read it — I know I had to! Actually, the original, one-page Bernie was stone deaf. Not so here, but pretty bad just the same.

Of course I care.

One Wink - I’m glad you’re hanging with it. I’m doing my best to show and not tell. A little telling is in order sometimes, of course, but only in short bursts.

]]> By: One Wink http://storyblog.markwill.com/2008/02/10/bernie-part-two/#comment-292 One Wink Mon, 11 Feb 2008 22:32:28 +0000 http://storyblog.markwill.com/2008/02/10/bernie-part-two/#comment-292 I'm still with you and I'm still liking it quite a lot. Despite the Star Wars reference, even ;-) I also appreciate the length of your chapters, not too long to squeeze into a sitting, yet long enough to keep the interest up. (which would not be an issue with a real, paper book but is a whole 'nother enchilada online.) I love how you are giving us such a great picture of Bernie's personality without going into a lot of history. That is a challenge. I’m still with you and I’m still liking it quite a lot. Despite the Star Wars reference, even ;-)
I also appreciate the length of your chapters, not too long to squeeze into a sitting, yet long enough to keep the interest up. (which would not be an issue with a real, paper book but is a whole ‘nother enchilada online.) I love how you are giving us such a great picture of Bernie’s personality without going into a lot of history. That is a challenge.

]]> By: Simon http://storyblog.markwill.com/2008/02/10/bernie-part-two/#comment-291 Simon Mon, 11 Feb 2008 20:14:23 +0000 http://storyblog.markwill.com/2008/02/10/bernie-part-two/#comment-291 By the way, I like the new look of the place. I haven't been here in a while and I like how you've spruced up the joint! I also realised that the post's meta text at the bottom only shows up once you've opened the comments. But thanks for adding the italics. You listen and you really do care! Bernie, I forgot to mention, is a well-educated cookie. Her refutation of light sabers being white stands up to that. By the way, I like the new look of the place. I haven’t been here in a while and I like how you’ve spruced up the joint!

I also realised that the post’s meta text at the bottom only shows up once you’ve opened the comments. But thanks for adding the italics. You listen and you really do care!

Bernie, I forgot to mention, is a well-educated cookie. Her refutation of light sabers being white stands up to that.

]]> By: Simon http://storyblog.markwill.com/2008/02/10/bernie-part-two/#comment-290 Simon Mon, 11 Feb 2008 14:48:37 +0000 http://storyblog.markwill.com/2008/02/10/bernie-part-two/#comment-290 We didn't know about the hearing thing in the first chapter, did we? More things coming together here. The added back story is nice, too - a history of Bernie's trepidation for crossing the street. I like the sense of self respect that Bernie's determined to preserve, and also the extreme difficulty she has in maintaining it. It was a little jarring at the end to go right from the last sentence in the story to the posting notification and access to the RSS feed. Is there some way to break that up? The text, colour, font are all the same, and I got as far as the date before realising it wasn't also part of the story. We didn’t know about the hearing thing in the first chapter, did we? More things coming together here. The added back story is nice, too - a history of Bernie’s trepidation for crossing the street. I like the sense of self respect that Bernie’s determined to preserve, and also the extreme difficulty she has in maintaining it.

It was a little jarring at the end to go right from the last sentence in the story to the posting notification and access to the RSS feed. Is there some way to break that up? The text, colour, font are all the same, and I got as far as the date before realising it wasn’t also part of the story.

]]>