Comments on: Bernie (Part Four) http://storyblog.markwill.com/2008/02/14/bernie-part-four/ Writings from the past and the present Mon, 01 Dec 2008 18:39:20 +0000 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.5.1 By: Moksha Gren http://storyblog.markwill.com/2008/02/14/bernie-part-four/#comment-322 Moksha Gren Sat, 16 Feb 2008 04:11:10 +0000 http://storyblog.markwill.com/2008/02/14/bernie-part-four/#comment-322 Yet another reason for her living conditions explained. Excellenter and Excellenter, sir. Also, hats off to the cups on stage. Encore!! Yet another reason for her living conditions explained. Excellenter and Excellenter, sir.

Also, hats off to the cups on stage. Encore!!

]]> By: One Wink http://storyblog.markwill.com/2008/02/14/bernie-part-four/#comment-319 One Wink Fri, 15 Feb 2008 22:58:56 +0000 http://storyblog.markwill.com/2008/02/14/bernie-part-four/#comment-319 Like her? I wanna be Shonda so I can hang out with her! I'm moving on to Pt. 5 now, minus the meds... ;-) Like her? I wanna be Shonda so I can hang out with her!

I’m moving on to Pt. 5 now, minus the meds… ;-)

]]> By: Simon http://storyblog.markwill.com/2008/02/14/bernie-part-four/#comment-307 Simon Fri, 15 Feb 2008 15:39:10 +0000 http://storyblog.markwill.com/2008/02/14/bernie-part-four/#comment-307 Oh, I regularly do the CTRL-A and CTRL-C thing with comments that I leave. I've lost too many in the past not to do that. It's just not so firmly ingrained that I do it all the time. I only meant that the rock throwing thing wasn't part of the internalising. Not that it wasn't good. Oh, I regularly do the CTRL-A and CTRL-C thing with comments that I leave. I’ve lost too many in the past not to do that. It’s just not so firmly ingrained that I do it all the time.

I only meant that the rock throwing thing wasn’t part of the internalising. Not that it wasn’t good.

]]> By: Mark http://storyblog.markwill.com/2008/02/14/bernie-part-four/#comment-302 Mark Fri, 15 Feb 2008 04:39:19 +0000 http://storyblog.markwill.com/2008/02/14/bernie-part-four/#comment-302 Simon - I'm going to have to teach you the power of CTRL-A, CTRL-C before moving your cursor out of the comment box. Did you mean that the rock-throwing bit wasn't good, or that it wasn't part of the internalizing? One Wink - Glad you like her. I don't think she was clear on what hit her shoulder, either. She just felt something hit her shoulder and then turned to see a boy tossing a rock up in the air. All part of my attempt to show and not tell (as much). I meant for the reader to believe the little creep had already thrown a rock. Hard time following her path? Yeah, it's the cold medicine. ;-) Simon - I’m going to have to teach you the power of CTRL-A, CTRL-C before moving your cursor out of the comment box.

Did you mean that the rock-throwing bit wasn’t good, or that it wasn’t part of the internalizing?

One Wink - Glad you like her. I don’t think she was clear on what hit her shoulder, either. She just felt something hit her shoulder and then turned to see a boy tossing a rock up in the air. All part of my attempt to show and not tell (as much). I meant for the reader to believe the little creep had already thrown a rock.

Hard time following her path? Yeah, it’s the cold medicine. ;-)

]]> By: One Wink http://storyblog.markwill.com/2008/02/14/bernie-part-four/#comment-301 One Wink Thu, 14 Feb 2008 16:10:22 +0000 http://storyblog.markwill.com/2008/02/14/bernie-part-four/#comment-301 Wow, there was a lot to absorb in this chapter. I'm really liking this woman. She's got good spunk and just the right amount of cynicism to make us root for her and feel that she'll survive whatever you throw in her path. I wasn't clear on what struck her shoulder when the two hooligans approached her. Had one already thrown a rock? Little creeps. It could be the cold medicine I'm on but I had a hard time following her path. Tell me it was just me. Wow, there was a lot to absorb in this chapter.
I’m really liking this woman. She’s got good spunk and just the right amount of cynicism to make us root for her and feel that she’ll survive whatever you throw in her path.
I wasn’t clear on what struck her shoulder when the two hooligans approached her. Had one already thrown a rock? Little creeps.
It could be the cold medicine I’m on but I had a hard time following her path. Tell me it was just me.

]]> By: Simon http://storyblog.markwill.com/2008/02/14/bernie-part-four/#comment-300 Simon Thu, 14 Feb 2008 15:09:50 +0000 http://storyblog.markwill.com/2008/02/14/bernie-part-four/#comment-300 Crap... it really sucks when you hit Submit Comment and forgot to type in the anti-spam word, and then you get told to go back and type it in, and then your whole previous comment is lost. That sucks. :( So. To recap: Nicely internalise chapter, aside from the rock-throwing bit. Got more into Bernie's head and I liked that. I also like how it's more engaging, and I think that has a lot to do with you giving yourself more time to write and revise, rather than staying up late at night and posting as you finish a chapter. I can see (well, read) the difference. (I was in high school before I felt up my first girl.) Crap… it really sucks when you hit Submit Comment and forgot to type in the anti-spam word, and then you get told to go back and type it in, and then your whole previous comment is lost.

That sucks.
:(

So. To recap:

Nicely internalise chapter, aside from the rock-throwing bit. Got more into Bernie’s head and I liked that. I also like how it’s more engaging, and I think that has a lot to do with you giving yourself more time to write and revise, rather than staying up late at night and posting as you finish a chapter. I can see (well, read) the difference.

(I was in high school before I felt up my first girl.)

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