Comments on: Bernie (Part Eight) http://storyblog.markwill.com/2008/02/26/bernie-part-eight/ Writings from the past and the present Mon, 01 Dec 2008 18:03:57 +0000 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.5.1 By: Dave http://storyblog.markwill.com/2008/02/26/bernie-part-eight/#comment-340 Dave Fri, 29 Feb 2008 12:05:38 +0000 http://storyblog.markwill.com/2008/02/26/bernie-part-eight/#comment-340 See.... your writing make me actually SMELL the flowers. I can't write like that.... (yet). Nice job Mark. See…. your writing make me actually SMELL the flowers. I can’t write like that…. (yet).

Nice job Mark.

]]> By: Mark http://storyblog.markwill.com/2008/02/26/bernie-part-eight/#comment-339 Mark Thu, 28 Feb 2008 17:30:53 +0000 http://storyblog.markwill.com/2008/02/26/bernie-part-eight/#comment-339 Simon - Thanks. I get nervous about these fresh drafts. I agree that her first comment to the boat captain seemed a little out of place. I did that on purpose, to try to show a change in attitude toward bitterness. Maybe that was too quick. You might be right to suspect Shonda, but you might not. We'll see. Wink - I hadn't planned on having her spill the beans in a truck stop shower room, but it seemed to work well, and I needed something for them to do while they talked. So, here it is. Glad you're anticipating what's coming next. Casting for the movie? Cool. Shan - That's my lady. I value your comments above all others'. And, you're the one who came out and said the unibrow was based on yourself, not me. Maybe I can't make the claim, "Any resemblance to real people is purely coincidental," huh? Simon - Thanks. I get nervous about these fresh drafts. I agree that her first comment to the boat captain seemed a little out of place. I did that on purpose, to try to show a change in attitude toward bitterness. Maybe that was too quick.

You might be right to suspect Shonda, but you might not. We’ll see.

Wink - I hadn’t planned on having her spill the beans in a truck stop shower room, but it seemed to work well, and I needed something for them to do while they talked. So, here it is.

Glad you’re anticipating what’s coming next. Casting for the movie? Cool.

Shan - That’s my lady. I value your comments above all others’. And, you’re the one who came out and said the unibrow was based on yourself, not me. Maybe I can’t make the claim, “Any resemblance to real people is purely coincidental,” huh?

]]> By: Shan http://storyblog.markwill.com/2008/02/26/bernie-part-eight/#comment-338 Shan Thu, 28 Feb 2008 16:34:41 +0000 http://storyblog.markwill.com/2008/02/26/bernie-part-eight/#comment-338 This is phenomenal writing, honey - I knew you had it in you! However, I'm not so sure of the way you used my wedding unibrow as part of Shonda's story. That hits a little too close to home (sniff, sniff). I guess I should just be happy that you were attracted to wildabeasts back then (or sasquatches, as Bernie said). This is phenomenal writing, honey - I knew you had it in you! However, I’m not so sure of the way you used my wedding unibrow as part of Shonda’s story. That hits a little too close to home (sniff, sniff). I guess I should just be happy that you were attracted to wildabeasts back then (or sasquatches, as Bernie said).

]]> By: One Wink http://storyblog.markwill.com/2008/02/26/bernie-part-eight/#comment-337 One Wink Thu, 28 Feb 2008 01:29:18 +0000 http://storyblog.markwill.com/2008/02/26/bernie-part-eight/#comment-337 Shonda is working quite well as the "vehicle" to draw out a big chunk of Bernie's history for us. I can't quite convey the level of anticipation that you've created here. I kind of feel like Gretel gathering up crumbs to find my way back home. And reading this in installments, if you will, is great. It not only adds to the anticipation, the reader (me) has time to digest and enjoy before being tempted to read ahead. I'm already going through potential actresses in my head to play Bernie in the movie! ;-) Shonda is working quite well as the “vehicle” to draw out a big chunk of Bernie’s history for us.
I can’t quite convey the level of anticipation that you’ve created here. I kind of feel like Gretel gathering up crumbs to find my way back home. And reading this in installments, if you will, is great. It not only adds to the anticipation, the reader (me) has time to digest and enjoy before being tempted to read ahead.
I’m already going through potential actresses in my head to play Bernie in the movie! ;-)

]]> By: Simon http://storyblog.markwill.com/2008/02/26/bernie-part-eight/#comment-335 Simon Tue, 26 Feb 2008 14:50:55 +0000 http://storyblog.markwill.com/2008/02/26/bernie-part-eight/#comment-335 I think that went really well for just coming fresh from the dregs of your mind, Mark. Bernie's tie to her home town feels stronger because of this chapter, and knowing now exactly how she got on the streets brings a different perspective. The little bit with the bible verse from Ruth was a nice touch; made it very personal for Bernie. I'm a little suspicious of Shonda, thinking that she's going a little too far out of her way to be nice, but that could just be a little bit of cynic coming out in me. Bernie's answer of, "For now, yes," on the phone didn't feel quite right, knowing it was a stranger on the other end of the line, but that's a minor quibble. I think that went really well for just coming fresh from the dregs of your mind, Mark. Bernie’s tie to her home town feels stronger because of this chapter, and knowing now exactly how she got on the streets brings a different perspective. The little bit with the bible verse from Ruth was a nice touch; made it very personal for Bernie.

I’m a little suspicious of Shonda, thinking that she’s going a little too far out of her way to be nice, but that could just be a little bit of cynic coming out in me.

Bernie’s answer of, “For now, yes,” on the phone didn’t feel quite right, knowing it was a stranger on the other end of the line, but that’s a minor quibble.

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